Not long ago, an old flame came back into my life. Seeing him again was bittersweet. For a couple of years, I’d dreamt how that moment would play out. I imagined what he would say and how he would make me feel. Seeing him again, I was reminded of why we didn’t work out the first time. The situation reminded me of a chapter I wrote in my book, Balanced Life, Happy Life. Here is the excerpt, which I hope will help you say goodbye to the old relationship ghosts in your life to pave the way to the love that will be best suited for you.
“When I was 16 years old, I fell in love with a boy who made me feel alive, happy, and loved. I pledged to love him forever. I thought we were destined to be together and no amount of time or distance would sever that love. I had given him my heart. Our relationship ended when he left for college, but with every year that passed after our break-up, subconsciously my heart was still his. We kept in touch over the years and talked about us and our past. Fast forward twenty-seven years and I realized the promise to love him forever, made unconsciously or consciously, was blocking me from the relationship I was meant to have. Why was it that I was consistently going after men who were emotionally unavailable? Was it a subconscious desire for each relationship to fail so as to not break my unspoken promise to my first love? Knowing he was there in the background gave me a sense of security. It was comforting to know there was someone in the world who loved me and still thought I was beautiful. I knew I could get the validation I desired from him. However, as time passed, I knew in my heart it was no longer enough. I wanted something more meaningful, more lasting and permanent that I was never to get from him. When we saw each other at our high school reunion, I was happy to see him as he is and not the idyllic image I had projected in my mind. It was time for me to remove him from the pedestal where I had placed him. Once I saw him with all his flaws, I realized it was time for me to reclaim my heart and undo the promise I had made to him all those years ago.
When you say goodbye to your past loves, you make room for new ones to come in. Let go of all those promises you made whether consciously or subconsciously. If those promises no longer serve you in a positive way, it is a sign that the time has come to let go and move on. It may take you twenty-seven years, as it did for me, but understand that you are on the exact journey you were meant to travel. I have no regrets about loving him, but it was time for me to move forward. Because I am emotionally available, I will be better able to attract a man who is also emotionally available.”
“The heart’s memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good” – Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera”
If you want to learn about the steps I took to finding inner peace and happiness, and to help find the happiness locked inside of you, get your copy of Balanced Life Happy Life (Balboa Press, 2015) today at www.tastingwellness.com/my-book. Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.