How a Breakup Changed My Life


I was born a hopeless romantic. From the barrage of romantic comedies and fairytales that peppered my life, I was fueled with stories and images of what relationships were supposed to be. Adding insult to injury, it did not help that my parents had their own storybook romance. I carried these dreams and hopes into every relationship hoping to find the joy that I thought could only be attained in life after the arrival of the “perfect” mate.

Two years ago, I met a man who seemed to be my hope for the fairytale life I sought. He was handsome, kind, strong, caring, a great father, and he had a tender heart. Despite him being wonderful, I still found faults with him – he wasn’t romantic enough, he didn’t want to spend all his free time with me, and we didn’t ride on a white horse into the sunset. After increasingly being disappointed, through no fault of his, I broke it off with him. Immediately after the breakup, I regretted my decision. The realization that I had let go of a man who was fantastic in all the real ways that mattered haunted me. In an effort to work through my grief, I began to journal what I was feeling. I also decided that it was time for me to take stock of my romantic life and my part in the failure of each relationship. With the help of my fabulous therapist and the countless articles and self-help books that I devoured, I realized that the happily ever after I so desperately sought had been inside of me all along. Every day that I put pen to paper, the pain of my losses poured out of me. I wrote about the feelings I was experiencing in that moment as well as the lessons I was learning along the journey. After a couple of weeks and fifteen pages later, I realized that my writing was beginning to resemble the start of a book. Over the course of the year, I slowly began to piece my broken heart together. Then one autumn day, something miraculous happened; I smiled. The smile was not from some external force or internal thought. It was a smile of genuine happiness that radiated from somewhere deep inside of my soul. I was feeling a sense of inner peace I had never experienced before. This was a feeling that I always found to be illusive, or reserved for only a select chosen few.

That winter after months of determined writing, two advertisements for separate book publishing courses appeared in my email inbox. I felt that the Universe was sending me a sign that I needed to see my book through to the end. My heart was full of happiness and peace that I wanted to share my journey with others who were looking for a way to feel happy and fulfilled. This journey has taught me that happiness is not fleeting when it comes from within. It is only when we look for external forces as the only source of our joy that we become disappointed and disenchanted with various types of life relationships.

My book Balanced Life Happy Life was born out of the pain of a failed relationship. It is because of this relationship that I will forever be grateful for the new trajectory my life has taken. Whether or not my lost love and I can find a path back to each other remains to be seen, but for now I know that with or without him, I will be happy all on my own.

If you want to learn about the steps I took to finding inner peace and happiness, and to help find the happiness locked inside of you, get your copy of Balanced Life Happy Life(Balboa Press, 2015) today at

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